Commit to the relationship (2)

The word commit means ‘to bind, or obligate, or pledge’. And for some of us, it evokes pictures of servitude, restraints, and the loss of our freedom. In other words, it frightens us.

Many people place a high value on their independence and self-sufficiency, and as a result, some of them can also become more reluctant to commit to a relationship that requires compromise and consideration of another person's views (see Philippians 2:3-4). It may lead to a desire to keep the relationship fluid and flexible, so they can stay or leave whenever they want. The partner desiring the commitment finds such a relationship frustrating and unfulfilling. So, what should you do if you’re reluctant to commit to the relationship? Two things:

1) Be honest with yourself about your fears, feelings, and motivations. David said, ‘You desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom’ (Psalm 51:6 NKJV). Notice, wisdom comes from being honest about what is going on inside you. What are your memories of your parents’ marriage and how it affected you? Have you observed similar patterns of behaviour on your part or that of your potential mate when it comes to dealing with relationships?

2) Admit the role you may have played, even as an enabler of poor behaviour, in the collapse of a former relationship. Have you changed now? Are you willing to? If so, then here is God’s promise to you of a better future: ‘Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing…’ (Isaiah 43:18-19 NKJV).